Television: AHS: Coven, "Boy Parts"

Misty brings a gator back to life and allows it to chomp some swamp rats (by which I mean illegal hunters). And Fiona continues to slap and throw people around. Madame LaLaurie, whom Fiona has hidden in her room, and then Zoe and Madison for acting out when the police come by to ask about the frat boys and the bus accident from last week.

So, you know, business as usual.

"The only thing you have to be afraid of is me," Fiona tells the girls, and I have to say I'm kind of sick of this schtick already. I saw it all last season with Sister Jude (and then Sister Mary Eunice). It's so very one note: the "strong" woman character in all these is always power-happy and evil. Motivations may vary, but the bones of these characters are all the same.

Turns out Cordelia is trying to have a baby . . . And failing. Can she be tempted to break her own strict rules of magic?

And (speaking of dark life and death magic) Zoe and Madison break into the morgue and Frankenstein themselves a boy from the most desirable parts of the bus victims' remains. (Somehow in all this no one else ever bothers to come down to the morgue.) Madison's spell fails; clearly they need Misty, right?

Oh, wait, the morgue guy has arrived. Just in time for Madison's spell to take effect (thanks to a fairy-tale kiss from Zoe) and the animated Kyle corpse to kill him.

Somehow Fiona failed to anticipate that one of the girls at the school might pick up on Madame LaLaurie's presence. Indeed, Nan's reading is interrupted by LaLaurie's "loud" thinking, and so Nan goes, unties her, and tells her to "get out."

Fiona goes to a hair salon in the 9th in search of Laveau. And finds her. Sparking a fight. (And a fire.) I'm Team Laveau here, if only because that's where my heritage comes from.

Meanwhile, I feel like the baby plot line is really just an excuse for more sex on the show. Sigh.

And yes, Misty turns up in the back seat of the car Zoe is driving, Kyle riding shotgun . . . They go back out to the swamp and Misty smears Kyle with mud and teaches Zoe about Stevie Nicks. (Known to South Park fans as a goat draped in shawls, but whatever.) So what's the theme here? The difference between formal and informal education? The honing of innate talent?

Kathy Bates is the best thing going in this show, with Angela Bassett a close second. More of them, please. Less of the Teen Witch Squad.

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