Television: Doctor Who, "The Woman Who Lived"

The, er, side effects of immortality have been pretty thoroughly (and well) explored by Highlander, so this episode just left me feeling like it was simultaneously too much and not enough. That is, they tried to cram too much in, but at the same time made it all too simple.

Maisie Williams is back as the girl the Doctor saved by making her immortal last week. She's lived a long time and has forgotten a lot of it, apparently, though she somehow remembers the Doctor pretty clearly, and Clara. Are we supposed to think this is what she held on to when everything else spun away? Lives, centuries . . . I feel like they didn't quite make that point, but it's what I infer.

And the years have made her hard, unsympathetic to her fellow humans, and generally unlikable.

The Doctor turns up looking for an amulet that Maisie (her name in this episode seems to be in question; the Doctor calls her by her Viking name, which she disdains, only referring to herself as "Me," so I'll stick with Maisie) is also searching for. She's teamed up with what appears to be Ron Perlman's Beast, who comes from a planet of anthropomorphic lions, I guess? He's promised to take her away to new worlds, but he needs the amulet to open a portal or something.

The episode boils down to: Immortality is cool so long as you have wheels.

And by "wheels" I mean transportation in general. The flip side being, immortality is not fun if you're stuck in one place. (Living chronologically may also lose its luster after the first few centuries.)

The amulet is found. Maisie asks the Doctor, repeatedly, to take her with him. She's his first choice; Lion King dude, originally her only option, becomes Plan B. But of course the Doctor refuses her, so Maisie and the Beast must go to a hanging and capture, I dunno, the death of the condemned or something.

Of course the Lion King has no intention of taking Maisie anywhere, and the portal that opens actually is intended to, what? Open the way for an invasive army? Rather like The Avengers?

Maisie has an abrupt change of heart in this moment, and not (one is meant to believe) simply because she's been lied to by Sir Roars-a-Lot. "I do care!" she shouts, meaning she actually does care about the people in the world . . . ? It's actually not at all believable in terms of character development. It's too sudden and not earned.

She and the Doctor are able to reverse the amulet and close the portal by using the second Immortality thingy on the dying man. I guess now he's immortal too? (Truthfully, he was the best part of the episode, a highwayman named Sam Swift, played to the hilt by Rufus Hound—just fabulous.)

Later, the Doctor explains to Maisie that she can't be his companion because two immortals together lose touch; they need to see through the eyes of mortals to tether them to humanity, etc. Though one has to wonder that the Doctor always chooses a human companion, and one from our current era besides. He could surely choose, well, anyone from any place or time, right? Why must he be "humanized" rather than "Some-other-planet-ized"?

The Doctor tells Maisie he'll be watching out for her. She tells him she'll be watching out for his companions, the people he leaves behind, broken in his wake. And then we get a lame moment of Clara showing the Doctor a selfie (that wasn't really a selfie because someone else clearly took the photo) just so we can see Maisie in the background. Ugh. So cliché.

I guess the point is to leave the door open for more Maisie Williams if/when they have use for her. But her character really would fit better in Highlander than Doctor Who.

Television: Sleepy Hollow, "The Lesser Key of Solomon"

Written, list style, while watching.

1. The introduction in which Crane explains who he is? So Highlander.
2. In the best use of product placement I've yet to see on television, Crane brings an On Star operator to tears with his eloquence.
3. Meanwhile, Abbie's sister Jennifer is loose and being sought by (a) Abbie and Crane, and (b) some scary other dudes. German? They torture and kill people anyway. (More beheadings!)
4. I'm kind of bored now . . .
5. Turns out Jenny and Sheriff Corbin were cozy, though.
6. Starting to think Crane should host one of those radio talk shows where people call in with relationship problems or whatever. Oooh, like LaCroix on Forever Knight!
7. Jenny was tasked by Corbin to keep an old sextant safe. But Crane recognizes as it as something from the Revolutionary War, a weapon. (Insert National Treasure-type lecture/flashback about the war.) Ah! But the "Hessian" bit explains the Germans.
8. The sextant works as a projector. With an old map of Sleepy Hollow, showing the location of . . . a chest?
9. Jesus, aim for the freaking tires! Don't they teach this in . . . sheriff school or whatever it's called?
10. Oh, but the bad guys got the sextant.
11. I should do all my posts in lists. It's way easier than writing paragraphs.
12. This is kind of like Indy versus the Nazis now.
13. The episode title is explained as referring to a book of magic written by King Solomon, something about summoning 72 demons, yada, yada, yada.
14. How is it no one in Sleepy Hollow has noticed they have neighbors with German accents? I mean, my friend who is from the Netherlands and has lived here a decade has less of an accent than these guys. So these guys who have lived in Sleepy Hollow all these years . . . And they still have these accents?
15. Moloch. Um, okay. Tell him to take a number. We got demons and lesser gods lined up already.
16. Oh, lucky Crane has a photographic memory. Guess they don't need the sextant after all.
17. The Germans have the box. And the book. And it looks like they carry a handy demon-raising kit with them as well.
18. Solomon was Jewish, right? I feel like there should be a minyan or something required to raise demons. Two German dudes really doesn't cut it.
19. Some unimpressive fighting.
20. The book gets thrown into the flaming pit of birthing demons . . . And somehow that stops them? Weak dénouement.
21. Revelation 11. Abbie tells Jenny she [Abbie] and Crane are the "two witnesses." (But what if they're not? Are we taking this on faith? Just wondering.)
22. Sister moment. Abbie offers to try and get Jenny out of the loony hutch. (After Jenny broke out? Are they really going to allow that?)
23. Milton. (Didn't we all know that already? Moloch --> Paradise Lost? No? Just me? Okay.)
24. I just wanted to end on an even number. Good night.

Television: Sleepy Hollow

I keep a skull (not real, a Hamlet prop) in my office. But from here on out, he should maybe make trips to the television room on Monday nights to watch Sleepy Hollow. Cuz let's be real: skulls are underrepresented in media, but Sleepy Hollow is now giving them the attention they deserve.

Don't call him "Yorick." His name is Benny.

Seriously, though, it's difficult to decide how seriously to take this update on Washington Irving's famous tale. Parts Grimm, Once Upon a Time, and Highlander (hello, flashbacks and beheadings) . . . It's patently designed for today's epic fantasy audience. But the story has been warped to the point that it is almost nonsensical.

Let's see if I can get it straight: Ichabod Crane was a soldier in the Revolutionary War. He was instructed by General Washington to look for a man with a brand on his hand—the brand looks like "a bow" as per the people in the program, but mostly looks a bit like the sign for Sagittarius, and so as a member of that sign I'm a tad offended. Anyway, when shooting said offender failed to kill him, Crane cut off the man's head . . . But not before the man used his broad axe to slice a good hunk of Crane's chest open.

Crane is taken to triage where his wife Katrina worked as a nurse. But really, she was a witch, a member of a secret coven dedicated to stopping the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse . . . Whatever. The end result is that Crane wakes up in modern day Sleepy Hollow, having been roused from his long sleep by the resurgence of the Headless Horseman. (Their blood had mingled on the battlefield, thus tying them together for eternity.)

Cue any number of cliché fish-out-of-water moments: Crane amazed by power windows and locks in cars, and by cars in general, and Starbucks . . . Still, what could be taken to the nth degree is handled fairly well here. There was minimal eye rolling on my part.

The modern-day setup is something like: police officer Abbie Mills is all set to go off to Quantico in a few days. (This is evidently a variation of someone being ready to retire, like Murtaugh in Lethal Weapon. In this case retirement doesn't work as an excuse because Abbie is too young.) But on a call to a local farm, Abbie and the sheriff encounter the Headless Horseman. (Didn't Highlander also do the Horseman thing? Yeah, they did.) He cuts off the sheriff's head. And then Crane is picked up as a suspect cuz he's so fucking weird and obviously a loony, right?

Crane is remanded for psychological evaluation and treatment, seeing as he obviously has delusions about being from Revolutionary times. But Mills feels like Crane might be their best chance at figuring out what is going on. And then she also goes through the dead sheriff's files and finds more about these covens and the Four Horsemen, a string of cases that seem related to them . . . Including the case of her and her sister, who themselves had experienced something strange when they were younger.

Meanwhile, Crane is led by a hawk (Katrina's familiar?) to her grave, where he sees she was burned for being a witch. A dream of her (vision?) informs him that she is not buried there, but the Headless Horseman's skull is. Crane and Abbie go to dig it up, but the Horseman comes calling. Still, they manage to keep their heads and his.

Abbie of course must now decide she will not go to Quantico after all. She will stay in Sleepy Hollow. Because she is part of something bigger—she and Crane are the two witnesses mentioned in Revelation 11 (just for comparison, the title of one of those Highlander episodes: "Revelation 6:8"). The show is now set up for monster-of-the-week plotlines paired with continuation of established mythology.

Sleepy Hollow is plagued by bad CGI (the horse's glowing eyes just one example) and sometimes clunky dialogue. And it is in many ways an obvious cobbling of so many current trends and influences. The mythology is already convoluted, and it's only just getting started. But despite all these flaws, I still found the pilot mildly entertaining. And Tom Mison is not bad to look at for an hour. I'll watch again next week to see if they can pull it off.

. . . And maybe my skull will watch and weigh in with some thoughts of his own.

Television: Doctor Who, "Hide"

Dougray Scott! In a haunted house! (Honestly, my first thought when I see Dougray Scott is still of that episode of Highlander he was in, him drunk and on about Bonnie Prince Charlie, but whatever.)

Oh, and more associations with Sherlock Holmes, if loose, as Scott's character Alec is a member of the Baker Street Irregulars. He's also a major. And owner of the haunted house on the moors. (Baskerville Hall?) The Doctor and Clara turn up and The Doctor uses vague references to "The Ministry" to gain access to the ghost-hunting festivities.

Also in attendance, an empathic psychic named Emma, guest of Alec. (You might recognize the actress from Call the Midwife.)

Alec, of course, is more a man of science, or at the very least likes to cover his bases, and has set up loads of equipment in the entry hall. Stuff to record any potential disturbances.

It seems the house is haunted by a woman, "The Witch of the Well." The Doctor and Clara head for the heart of the house, aka the music room, in search of her. Requisite haunted house moments follow: cold spots, feeling watched, creaky doors and floors, a chalk circle, unexplained knocking, and candles being blown out. Seems extreme when the bottom line message appears to be a simple, "Help me."

The Doctor hits up Alec for some backstory and Clara corners Emma into a heart-to-heart. Alec tells The Doctor how his interest in ghosts and getting away from society stems from having sent people to their deaths while surviving—survivor's guilt, then, one supposes. And Emma and Alec clearly have a spark but Emma doesn't trust her own feelings, or really doesn't trust what she thinks she senses in Alec, afraid she might be projecting. Clara insists it's obvious there's something between them and tells Emma to believe in it. Emma returns the favor by telling Clara not to trust The Doctor. "There's a sliver of ice in his heart."

Okay, so this is a fine idea, but telling isn't showing, and unless Matt Smith can show us this cold spot in The Doctor, unless the writers and directors can find a way to show instead of tell, having a one-off character say it won't make it true.

Clara says the TARDIS doesn't like her. Later it locks her out in The Doctor's absence. But after an "interface" conversation, the TARDIS allows Clara to pilot it (her) to save The Doctor.

The Doctor deduces the ghost is actually a time traveler named Hila caught in a pocket universe. (I wasn't paying complete attention.) He tells Emma that she must save Hila because Emma is "the lantern." They open a portal of sorts and The Doctor goes into the "well" to find and save Hila. He sends Hila back, but Emma is unable to hold the portal open long enough for The Doctor to get through.

Aidan Cook clearly has it going on with Doctor Who this season, having played The Mummy and now The Crooked Man (oooh, more Holmes). Is this just an actor getting a couple good roles in a show, or are these two entities related? The Crooked Man succeeds in making The Doctor afraid, and for a moment there it was nice to see him be something other than his usual self. Smith almost showed some range. But it didn't last very long, and soon The Doctor was taunting The Crooked Man in typical fashion. And here is where the TARDIS and Clara arrive to save him.

Turns out Hila is Emma's some-odd great-granddaughter, hence the strong psychic link. The Doctor also asks Emma if there is anything strange about Clara, but Emma insists Clara is just a normal girl. The Doctor remains unconvinced. For him, Clara is the only mystery worth solving (or something like that).

I do really feel the Sherlock Holmes references have been laid on rather thick. It's as if Moffat & Co are so pleased with themselves with that other show, they must link it to this one. Even the relationship between The Doctor and Clara smacks of what they were trying to do with Sherlock and Irene—a would-be obsession, a mental puzzle designed to test the hero. It wasn't impressive there and it isn't here either. And I'd like to see something new instead of the same story over and over.

Television: Revolution, "Nobody's Fault but Mine"

Okay, so the episode begins the way the show as a whole should have been written: the story of Bass and Miles fighting alongside one another, the story of how they go from gung-ho idealists to dictatorial bastards—that's what would be truly entertaining to watch. I realize this is the tale they intend to give us in flashbacks (which is why I'm still watching), the same way Lost writers gave us everyone's pre-Island histories. But what was novel on Lost has become rote, or at the very least the way it's been handled on Revolution is far less compelling.

Of all the characters, Captain Neville probably has the most depth, although his speech to Aaron boils Neville down to a man with a chip on his shoulder, which I feel does him a disservice. I've long said Billy Burke is the best thing about Revolution, but I think Giancarlo Esposito holds his own as well.

Meanwhile, Bass' man crush on Miles is both cute and squeamy. And the way people get that far-off stare as they remember something (cue flashback) is reminiscent of Highlander. Which, while I can feel nostalgic for it, I can also say it's probably not a comparison for which the writers and directors should be aiming.

Sometimes when my mind is wandering I like to think the Doctor might show up with his sonic screwdriver and turn the lights back on and cut the whole series short.

We knew, of course, that it would have to come down to Bass and Miles in hand-to-hand combat because that's how these things are done. More Highlander. Except if someone got a Quickening, maybe there would be a way to generate electricity . . .

At the end of the day (and month and year, since the show doesn't return until next March), despite the promises of big changes, I find myself far from the edge of my seat, nor am I impatient to find out what happens next. Okay, so now everyone is out of Bass' clutches. And now Bass has power (of some kind, though its duration and extent is questionable). So now . . . ??? I'm starting to find I care very little one way or another. Bass will wage war on Georgia? ::shrug:: He'll chase down Miles & Co.? ::shrug:: Whatever. It would have been a much bigger and more interesting twist to have Miles be in on the whole thing, or at the very least have him [pretend to?] rejoin the Militia. Having characters that don't change—which is what has happened here, as we are faced with a bunch of static personae—is far from revolutionary.

Movies: Highlander Reboot

A little tidbit from Variety in my inbox today: Ryan Reynolds is in talks to lead in the Highlander film reboot. I can pretty easily picture Reynolds brandishing a sword. I'm just wondering whether we really need more Highlander.

This is quite the statement coming from a girl whose college nickname was Methos. (There are a certain number of people who still call me this, in fact; they may not actually know my real name.) A core group of us tripped into the collective name of "Zeistmeisters" after a laughable dinner discussion in the dining hall. Admittedly, I was more a fan of the television series, which was on when I was in high school and college, than the films, but in any case, Highlander occupies a special place in my heart and personal history.

That being said, there are a couple of [biased] reasons for my not wanting to see more of these movies: (a) I've outgrown them and would rather leave the past in the past, and/or (b) I don't want to see something old, familiar and comfortable rehashed and/or ruined.

I'm also not sure who the target audience is for something like this. Older people who have fond memories of the original movies? (I was too young for those.) People like me who remember the television series? (But were terribly disappointed by the movies that followed.) Are they rebooting Highlander in the hopes of starting another action franchise that will appeal to younger audiences? It's a mystery, but it seems possible any new outing might fall through the demographic cracks.

Then again, if they get Ryan Reynolds . . . Except he proved not to be such a huge draw to Green Lantern . . . My guess is more women want to see him in a heartthrob lead than as a swashbuckler. Even an Immortal, emotionally damaged and vulnerable heartthrob swashbuckler. And Reynolds doesn't seem to be man's man enough for the other side of the equation.

Not having seen a script, I can't make any more than passing guesses at the whole of a new Highlander franchise, with or without Reynolds. Anything, if done right and well, could work. But some things are difficult to do right and well; they require a delicate balance and very fine tuning. Something action/fantasy-oriented like Highlander is just that kind of thing—something easy to do badly and incredibly onerous to do well. Curious to see how it turns out.

Or maybe not.