Lately my kids have been weirdly persistent in trying to figure out which songs I hate most and why. It all started when I asked my husband to make me a piña colada and he started singing "Escape" (also known as "The Piña Colada Song") and I demanded he stop. The kids found this extremely interesting, no doubt adding it to their arsenal of ways to get at me.
Thing is, I used to like that song, but there's something about it that is too catchy, and I sort of hate songs that sing in their claws and won't just go away. Also, as I got older and better understood the song's meaning, I found it unnaturally upbeat for the subject matter. (Haha! We were both planning to cheat! But since we ended up with each other anyway, it's all good!)
Now of course it would be impossible to create a list of every song I dislike. For one thing, there are whole categories of music I don't even listen to, but I can't generalize and say I hate all those songs. I don't know them, am not particularly drawn in by them, but I don't actively hate them.
For the purposes of this post, then, I will talk about songs that, when they come on the radio, I cannot change the station fast enough. And still this list won't be exhaustive. Because I'll almost certainly have forgotten something.
As for "Escape," I'll sometimes leave it on. Songs I cannot stand to hear even the first few notes of, however, include:
"I've Got You, Babe"
"Wind Beneath My Wings"
"Killing Me Softly"
"Somewhere Out There" (yes, from An American Tail)
Most Dan Fogelberg songs*
These are songs that, if I'm somewhere and they are playing, I have the strong urge to *ahem* escape. You'll notice they are all relatively slow songs. I think I dislike songs that labor under a certain amount of weight. And yet I love Christopher Cross songs, and I'll listen to "One More Night" by Phil Collins without complaint. I even learned to play "Against All Odds" on the keyboard, though I've since forgotten how.
*Yet I like some Dan Fogelberg. "Go Down Easy" is a great song. In fact, I enjoy most of the High Country Snows album, but that may be because my parents exposed me to it early. Sort of like being inoculated.
As I said, I'm probably forgetting a lot of songs here. Ones I perhaps have managed to avoid for so long I've forgotten they exist. Which is sort of the goal. If you have any songs you hate—or songs you think I'd hate—let me know about them in the comments.