Why I Hate Cookie Magazine

I subscribed to Cookie a couple years ago, just out of curiosity. I got one of those cheap offers in the mail, and the colorful letters announcing the magazine's title made it look fun. As it turns out, however . . . Not so much. I let the subscription lapse, but then my husband got a free subscription with some other purchase, and now it is again turning up in my mailbox each month.

Oh, Cookie is probably great for people living the high life in Manhattan--ones who just happen to have kids. Not so much for bumpkin ol' me, though.

Cookie's tag line is: "All the Best for Your Family." Apparently I'm supposed to feel guilty, then, that I don't dress my kids in Guess and Burberry, nor do I plunk down hundreds and/or thousands of dollars on shoes, bags and clothes for myself, either. I mean, take the March issue's page 38, "Style: Smart Cookie." They ask a fashion designer about how she manages to be a stylish mom. Uh, well, my first guess is she's a f***ing fashion designer. Followed closely by, And she makes a f***ing ton of money. After all, Designer Mom actually promotes blouses that are just shy of $600 a pop, a trench dress that is $3,495, and $117 jeans for her 9-year-old daughter.

I will admit, there is a little bar at the bottom of the page that suggest slightly less exorbitant items, but the stuff that gets primo placement is all pricey.

And let me just point out that I buy all my kids' clothes on sale because I know they'll be ruined in a matter of hours, if not minutes, by spilled food, dirt, paint, or baby spit-up. I buy most of my stuff on the cheap, too, for that matter.

Cookie goes on to suggest--as I've noticed in various issues--family vacations in, oh, Italy. No DisneyWorld here, though Disney Adventures does advertise their wares, which would be family tours to places like Machu Picchu and safaris in Kenya. For someone like me, for whom a day trip to a quaint neighboring downtown district is as close as I'm likely to come to a vacation in the next few years, these ads and articles are merely taunts. I hate them.

In fact, I hate Cookie. I hate it for making me jealous of what I don't have, for making me feel inferior as a person, a mother, a family. I hate it for making me second-guess my whole life, for making me wonder what I would have had to do to get where these people seem to be, where I went wrong. I mostly hate that it pushes the buttons on all my insecurities. And while I at least know and can acknowledge these feelings--as G.I. Joe always told us, "Knowing is half the battle"--they're still there. Less and less with each issue, as I find myself more and more able to distance myself. But still . . . I really hate Cookie.


Anonymous said...

It's funny, because I hate it too...but while I see it as the equivalent of Elle Magazine or the Sunday Style section of the NYTimes, it gets under my skin b/c it's about parenthood, not just being filthy rich in general. You're right: buying overpriced Ralph Lauren, or even JCrew for kids clothes is STUPID because they mess them up or grow out of them in seconds. It's practically sinful--like, if you have that kind of money, how about bringing it to Africa with you and giving it to the poor after you're finished with your Safari instead of wasting it on clothes?
Anyway, I think Cookie is kind of fantasy for mothers who also read high fashion mags as fantasy for other parts of their lives. And, I don't particularly need either! :)

Anonymous said...

I've never heard of the magazine and I hate it now, too. I think it ridiculous to spend that much money on kids' clothes when, as you said, they're going to get them dirty so quickly and they will also grow fast out of them. Plus, the kids don't really care what they're wearing unless you tell them to care.