Television: Superbowl XLIII Commercials, Part 1

Warning: Live blogging tonight. This means I'm going stream-of-consciousness. I cannot be held responsible for the odd turnings of my mind prior to my stopping to consider them. What I mean is, I'm typing before I really think here. Just whatever comes out. Forewarned is forearmed and all that.

I don't care about the game. I'm just interested n the ads. Thus far, we've seen a decent trailer for the G.I. Joe movie, a decidedly lame Bud Light ad, and a fantastic Audi featuring Jason Statham. Early theme of the night: breaking through windows.

Now Bob Dylan is singing "Forever Young." Another theme for the night seems to be nostalgia/progress. Thank the economic times for this one.

The Doritos ad with the snowglobe was, as my husband called it, "subversive." And just a little strange, though it still made us laugh. I have some Doritos upstairs, but that ad did not make me want to go get them.

Conan O'Brien? A better Bud Light ad than the first one. Celebrities are common in Superbowl ads in any given year, but they seem especially obvious this year. Is that an economic thing, too? None of us have money except for the celebs. BUT . . . If we all just drink Bud Light and drive an Audi, we can live like they do!

And what's this Year One thing? I can't decide if it's funny or stupid. That ad didn't sway me in either direction.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head in a car . . . They don't quite qualify as "celebrities." And could I care less about (a) Bridgestone tires or (b) yet another Fast and Furious movie? Vin Diesel has apparently had to go back to that in order to reboot his career. I guess the economy can hurt even B-List celebs. (Meanwhile it must be that much cheaper to hire the Potato Heads. They'd be awesome in a Fast and Furious movie, don't you think?)

Monkeys! Yay! My husband would love to be king of the monkeys!

Matt Lauer and Will Ferrell in a Land of the Lost trailer. So is Matt Lauer in the movie, or just in the ad? I'd totally be into seeing Matt in that movie.

Stupd sexist Doritos. The only that saved that ad was the guy getting hit by a bus. Meanwhile, I HATE the &*@#!%^ Go Daddy ads!

Pepsi Max is the diet cola for men? Really? Anyway, in my experience men are whiners, at least in the presence of their "womenfolk." They may try and be all that in front of their buds, but you can bet they went home and wimpered all night to their wives--assuming they have any, the losers.

Yay ostrich! How can David Duchovny expect me to believe a dog would be better than that? Meanwhile, first Clydesdale (aka Budweiser ad) of the night. And now, another one. Both cute. First: a Dalmatian playing fetch, and the Clydesdale decides to show off by bringing a huge tree limb. How is that supposed to make me want beer, exactly? I hate showoffs. But it's a cute ad, anyway. Second: true love wins the day as the Clydesdale crosses the country in search of Daisy the Dancing Circus Horse. I wish them all the best in their life together. I can only suppose Clydesdale still has his job as a drafthorse and can support Daisy and their future offspring.

Star Trek! Yes indeed, by golly. I am that excited about it. Never mind that the trailer itself is actually not so inspiring.

Is this a Nike ad or something? Reebok? Oh, nope, Gatorade, evidently now branded "G." As if it were some rapper instead of a sports drink.

David Abernathy is exactly the kind of person you'd openly admire and privately hate. I hope cars.com totally dupes him and he buys a lemon. Because come on, the guy has to fail sometime!

Hyundai is trying to position itself as an aspirational brand that is giving other such brands a run for their money. Hrm. Dunno if that will work, but they're giving it a decent shot.

Stupid E-Trade babies. Sorry, but babies don't sell me on anything. My own kids give me enough trouble without me wanting to see more knee biters on television, trying to convince me to what? I'm not even sure, and I don't care. (And hey, I like Mr. Mister, so I don't love that they're a punchline here.)

Yay for a new Pixar movie!

And now: more Bud Light stupidity. I'm supposed to find the guy "writing" to be clever and amusing? Now if they'd done that with football--like when the commentators use the writing on the screen--or with weathermen or something, then I might've found it slightly entertaining. Maybe.

Death and taxes. Har. And wicked flowers in a box. Wow. That was really striking. I mean, as a woman I took notice. I've had people send me flowers in a box, and they were lovely flowers. But now I'm thinking, "Were those people trying to tell me something? Besides 'we'll miss you' or whatever?" (Since the boxed flowers came when I left a job. Hmm. Maybe they were trying to kick me out the door . . .) Thanks, Teleflowers, for preying on my insecurities. I know that was the whole point, but man, seriously. You hit home.

Hateful bitch on a cell phone. Chester Cheetah does a public service by siccing pigeons on her.

Back after halftime.