Television: AHS: Coven, "The Dead"

For the record, I like Toto.

I'd also like to get a tattoo but (a) I'm a big chicken, and (b) I get bored too easily to settle on any one thing that will be stuck on my body for the rest of my life.

Oh, God, Madison is doing a voiceover. She's whining about not being able to feel.

And Zoe has Kyle chained in the greenhouse or conservatory or whatever it is.

Queenie and LaLaurie go for drive thru. This should be its own show. Seriously.

Hank is drunk dialing Cordelia. Liquid courage for the task ahead.

And when Cordelia goes groping for the staircase, Madison stops her from falling, and Cordelia sees a flash of Fiona's murder of Madison.

Speaking of Fiona, she's out with the Axeman.

Madison tries to connect with Kyle over the fact they've both been dead.

And after LaLaurie tells Queenie the other witches will never see her as a true sister because of her color, Queenie goes to visit Madame Laveau. Laveau tells Queenie she can join the House of Voodoo if she brings her Delphine LaLaurie.

Cordelia meets with Zoe after recognizing Zoe's power in both summoning and ridding the house of the Axeman and warns Zoe that Fiona will come after her unless they kill Fiona first.

Zoe leaves the meeting and discovers Kyle humping Madison.

Fiona is a terrible liar; it's easy to tell she hasn't called the police. And how could she without him knowing? Meanwhile, the Axeman admits to having watched over her while haunting the house. He helped her fight bullies and everything. (Really? Spaulding wasn't enough? She won the ghost over too? Even so . . . It's kind of a crap team.)

"I don't believe in ghosts," Fiona says. That's just about the dumbest thing I've ever heard a witch say. You believe in magic but not ghosts? Explain where you draw the line in regards to supernatural belief here.

And then Fiona berates the Axeman for admitting his feelings and years of ghostly stalking.

Zoe returns Spaulding's tongue. And since it is enchanted to only speak the truth . . . Zoe forces him to tell her Fiona killed Madison. And then she stabs him.

Queenie asks LaLaurie the worst thing she'd ever did; LaLaurie demurs that the past is best left alone. Flashback to LaLaurie, upset that her husband impregnated a slave girl, kills the girl's baby and uses the blood in her beauty treatment. Queenie is suitably horrified, but LaLaurie says she's trying to learn and wants to be friends. Queenie responds by taking Delphine for a new hairstyle . . . at Marie Laveau's.

And Fiona nearly goes all Britney Spears and almost shaves her head. But then goes back to the bar to hit up the Axeman again.

Madison proposes to Zoe that they share Kyle. Threesome!

No pre-Thanksgiving episode next week. Enjoy your turkey! Then come back in two weeks for more.

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