9 Minutes of Star Trek

. . . which we've decided is really just a game tweens play at sleepovers when they're not brave enough to play Truth or Dare or Spin the Bottle. (Or what was that game? Seven Minutes in Heaven?)

But seriously, folks, while I am a lifelong Star Trek fan and very much enjoyed the first J. J. Abrams film, I have reservations about this one. I see the Enterprise under water and can only think, Oh, so the goal was to stick the Enterprise in a place no one has tried yet. Boldly go and all that jazz. Or maybe I'm just jaded.

The core of the clip was Spock trying to neutralize a volcano while Kirk and Bones run away from angry natives on some planet where they weren't supposed to interfere with the locals (merely help them by quietly stopping their volcano from erupting, I suppose). And of course Spock, wearing some derivative of one of Tony Stark's Iron Man suits, gets trapped in the volcano and tells everyone they must leave him behind. "The good of the many," as the old movie said, but wait! They use it here again too! How clever.

So while Uhura hyperventilates at the thought of losing her main squeeze, Kirk tries to figure out a way to save Spock and everyone else. He asks Bones what Spock would do (WWSD?) and Bones grimly informs him, "He would let you die." Not helpful, but thanks for your input.

All this is bookended with what I assume is meant to be impressive displays of villainy on the part of Benedict Cumberbatch's unnamed malefactor, but this is mostly conveyed by his angular hair and him smirking a lot, so whatever. "Family" seems to be the key motivation for this character. Is he channeling an inner Ricardo Montalban? I guess we'll find out. (If I had to guess—and it's a shot into darkness—maybe he's created a "family" of enhanced humans or something? Of which Uhura may or may not be a member? Since I assume she's the child at the beginning of the clip?)

In all, I'm not sold. The tactics used in this "sneak peek" were too transparent for me to buy in. I'll see the movie, of course, but my anticipation level was not heightened by these nine minutes.